Walmartization of America...

Out of all the places of which I could shop, Wal-Mart is probably the biggest on my "no-no" list. I encourage everyone to think long and hard before they make their weekly (or daily) trip to the new god of America.

There are many reasons to avoid Wal-Mart and while they are all great reasons, I want to first discuss the one that finally flipped the switch for me. Did you know that Wal-Mart actually has a say in which products are manufactured and which products are scrapped? For example, a company who makes yogurt decides to market a new flavor. If Wal-Mart likes it, that flavor will stay around. If Wal-Mart doesn't like it, that flavor will end up on the cutting room floor. The reason is that Wal-Mart is now the largest purchaser of grocery products in America. So if they don't buy it, there is really not an economical reason for the company to make it. Do you really want this giant company having that large of an influence on what is on the market? Should that not be up to the customer base instead?

These business practices have also people on a local scale. One Toledo company used to produce Crayola crayons. Its biggest customer was Wal-Mart; but when Wal-Mart refused to pay three extra cents per box, the company was ran out of business and many people lost their jobs. Wal-Mart took its business to Mexico

In 1994, Rubbermaid was one of the most admired company in the United States -- but five years later, its fortunes fell so hard that the company had to sell to a competitor. When the price of a key component of its products went up, Rubbermaid asked Wal-Mart for a modest price increase -- but Wal-Mart said no, and stopped sales of Rubbermaid products. At a Rubbermaid factory in Wooster, Ohio, that meant the loss of 1,000 jobs. [PBS Frontline, 11/23/04]

With Wal-Mart, there is no room for negotiation. They tell you what they will pay you for your product. If you don't like it, they will buy it elsewhere and most likely, you will be out of business.

Wal-Mart perpetuates the cycle of poverty. They drive other stores out of business because their prices are so low. Thriving downtown areas turn into ghost towns. Their prices are so low because of their unethical practices. But with the other stores gone, the wages driven down and nowhere else to shop the people are pretty much forced to shop there. If not forced, they are definitely not given an incentive to go elsewhere.

While Wal-Mart kills family retail businesses and pushes out jobs that pay well, it also forces suppliers to relocate their plants overseas to meet its low-price demands. Wal-Mart is the single largest importer of Chinese goods, buying some $18 billion in merchandise in 2004, nearly 10 percent of all Chinese goods sold in the United States, which currently has a $124 billion trade deficit with China?

And in its own category of general merchandise and groceries, Wal-Mart no longer has any real rivals. It does more business than Target, Sears, Kmart, J.C. Penney, Safeway, and Kroger combined. Wal-Mart is not just the world's largest retailer. It's the world's largest company--bigger than ExxonMobil, General Motors, and General Electric. The scale can be hard to absorb.

Something else that is very disturbing is the unethical means they use to produce their inexpensive items. Something that I read really struck a nerve with me. "Close your eyes. Think about the shirt you are wearing. Trace it back through the store, back past being packaged, past being shipped, and to the place it was stitched and sewn together. I’m terrified when I do that and I see a small child, dirty and weary from 18 hours a day of labor, looking into my eyes and awaiting an explanation. What will I say to that little girl? What does taking responsibility mean for me there?

So while the poor stay poor, Wal-Mart's owners, the five members of the Walton family split the profits equally, and their total net worth is somewhere around $100 billion. The Waltons prefer to take a passive role in the company, so they may not be the people making the decision to use their workers to make a buck.

If the Waltons are worth more than 100 billion dollars, why will they not pay three cents extra for a box of crayons? Why can't they provide decent wages and benefits to its employees? Wages are notoriously low at Wal-Mart. Not only that but they hire many employees as "part time" help which means they do not have to provide insurance benefits. How ethical is it to take advantage of people this way while the people who own the company are five of the ten richest people in the country?

On Attachment Parenting...

What is this Attachment Parenting (AP) that we have been hearing so much about in the past few years?

According to Dr.Sears, who is credited for starting the AP movement, Attachment Parenting AP is an approach, rather than a strict set of rules. It's actually the style that many parents use instinctively. Parenting is too individual and baby too complex for there to be only one way. The important point is to get connected to your baby. Once you have a connection, stick with what is working and modify what is not. You will ultimately develop your own parenting style that helps parent and baby find a way to fit with each other.

According to Dr. Sears, and I agree, Attachment parenting is one of the oldest ways of caring for babies. In fact, it's the way that parents for centuries have taken care of babies, until childcare advisers came on the scene and led parents to follow books instead of their babies.

I am always fascinated by the studies done by anthropologists on tribes of native peoples who have been untouched by Western society. I am sure that it has just as much to do with their entire culture as it does their parenting (but then again, the two are very intertwined) but they usually do practice what we have coined "AP" and they usually do not have the same problems with their children as we in more "civilized" (and I use that word lightly) societies do.

There are a lot of misconceptions out there that AP is a permissive style of parenting or that it spoils the child. This is a very informative link on what AP is "not".

I, by no means, am a "perfect mommy" and I do find that as my children grow so does change the way I parent. But for infants, I do firmly believe in the things that usually go along with the AP and Natural Family Living movements.

These things can include (but do not always include all), but are certainly not limited to:

• Natural Birth
• Homebirth
• Co-sleeping (aka The Family Bed)
• No CIO (letting baby "cry it out")
• Leaving baby boys intact instead of circumcising
• Gentle Discipline (no spanking)
• Cloth Diapers
• Breastfeeding
• Child led weaning
• Wearing baby in a sling
• Homeschooling

Where do our priorities lie?

Before I get into today's post, let me first speak to the "Love it or leave it" folks. Do you really realize how asinine of a statement it is to tell someone "Well if you don't like it here in America, you can just get out"? That is such a backwards viewpoint that I honestly have a hard time even formulating my thoughts into words. First, there are now laws, no rules, that say that one must "love" their country - or even like it for that matter - in order to reside there. Second, I was born here. My home is here, my family is here. Who are you to tell me to pick up and leave everything that i have ever known, simply because I don't share your viewpoint on America?

And the irony is not missed on me that it is because I live in America I am free to state that opinion. I don't hate this country but I do think that it has its values really screwed up.

Moving on...I think that this country started out with noble enough values. I just think that they got really turned around somewhere along the way. Nor do I think that every other country in the world is so much better than my own...not at all. There are some countries that are way more screwed up that America. But there are some that have it together a lot more as well. And America does have its good points, it has its beauty, it has its things that make me proud to be here.

I think that love of one's country is just like anything else...there are good points and there are bad points. You embrace the good things and you work to change the bad.

I guess that my biggest problem is that a lot of my countrymen do not share my viewpoint on what the "bad" is, so it makes it hard to make positive changes.

That said, I was looking at the newly released Forbes List for the 400 Richest Americans. The fact that we even have such a list speaks volumes to me. It reiterates my point that we have our values screwed up. Why would anyone care who the "richest Americans" are? Does that make them somehow better than the rest of America? Do they really work harder than the average American?

I would say not. I would say that some of them got where they are from studying hard in school and working their way up. But for the most part I would say that most of them got where they are because they had access to decent schools and then a lot of luck happened. I know that some of you think that we make our own luck, and I agree to an extent. But a child born into a middle class/upper middle class/wealthy family is going to have a lot more "luck" than a child born into a low income family.

Your average sanitation worker works a lot harder than the wealthy man in the cushy office does, yet the difference between their wages is startling.

The average stay-at-home-mom works as hard as the major league baseball player (granted, in different ways) and she arguably has the more important job, yet compare the wages...zero for the mom versus millions for the baseball player.

Why is it that we promote music, screen and sports figures to an almost god like status? What makes us so much more interested in them than in the people who teach our children, put out our fires and clean our toilets?

Looking again at the list of the 400 richest Americans shows me where America's priorities lie.

Our interests lie in Wal-Mart - out of the top eleven on the list, five of them are affiliated with Wal-Mart. Moving on down the list, candy (junk food), casinos and entertainment are also among the top. And even more disturbing are the number of people in the top 400, even the top 100, who are wealthy because of oil. That means that while we are paying upwards of $4.00 a gallon for gas, we are lining the pockets of the wealthy, the government and the Middle East.

In going over this list, I really do not see where any of these people have done anything truly noble. This reinforces my belief that money isn't really the "good" thing that so many believe it to be. Money is nice to have. It would be nice to be able to pay the monthly bills without worrying where the funds were to come from, but beyond that - I think that money usually changes people for the worse. I realize that I am hugely generalizing here, but that is my personal opinion.

Did you know that the U.S. has second worst newborn death rate in modern world?


More than 46.6 million Americans are without health insurance, yet the rich keep getting richer.


In 2004, the most recent year from which statistics are available, 29,569 people were killed in America from firearm related incidents. Another 64,389 were injured. Go back and read that, let those numbers really sink in. By contrast, in the United Kingdom, there were 163 deaths (in 2003, the latest stats I could find). I just can't figure out this American fascination with owning what are essentially tools for murder.

With all of this, do you know what many of our countrymen are focusing on? They are focusing on the oh so ever important issue of denying their fellow countrymen (and women) the right to marry, denying women rights over their own bodies and making sure that we all live by their morals. America is a beautiful country but I fear for its future if something doesn't change. We need to get our priorities straight.

Killing ourselves to feed our lawn?

This post is for Jeffery.
A beautifully landscaped, green lawn is something sought after by many Americans. It has became the new "keeping up with the Joneses" to make your lawn more full and more green than your neighbor's.

The standard way of doing this is to use lawn treatment chemicals, fertilizers and lots of watering; all of which are harmful to our environment, animal life and most scary of all, harmful to us! The only way to reduce a dependence on chemical fertilizers is to develop a healthy lawn, which is naturally resistant to weeds, insects and diseases.

Of 30 commonly used lawn pesticides, 19 have studies pointing toward carcinogens, 13 are linked with birth defects, 21 with reproductive effects, 15 with neurotoxicity, 26 with liver or kidney damage, 27 are sensitizers and/or irritants, and 11 have the potential to disrupt the endocrine (hormonal) system. (references). In addition, for you pet owners, pet bladder cancer has been linked to lawn pesticide applications (Journal of the American Veterinary Medicine Association, April 15, 2004.)

I am aware that it is easy to become bogged down with facts and figures. It has become so easy to read the above paragraph and it just go right over our heads. There are so many warning out there today that we have become desensitized to them.

This link offers some personal stories about the harmful effects of lawn pesticides.

Making a change to "green" lawn care doesn't have to mean turning into a hippie. It can be done a lot easier than one may think.

Starting with one of the most basic aspects of lawn care, if you mow your grass to the proper height and disperse the small grass clippings evenly, this can provide many benefits. Here is a link that discusses the different types of grass and the proper mowing heights for each.

If you mow grass too short it discourages deep root growth and results in a rapid loss of the moisture in the soil. On the other extreme, if you let grass grow too tall it causes the excess grass clippings to smother the turf.

Some other things to keep in mind about mowing your grass:

• Raise the height of your mower blade during the hot and dry season. A higher setting reduces moisture loss and encourages deep root growth.
• Keep the blades on your mower sharp and clean, and mow when the grass is dry.
• Mow over leaves so they will decompose along with grass clippings.
• Collect leaves and grass clippings for mulching or composting (instead of sitting them on the curb for garbage pickup).

How to combat weeds the natural way

If you maintain a thick, healthy lawn this will almost always out-compete weeds. Proper mowing, fertilizing, watering, and soil conditioning will easily eliminate or prevent up to 95 percent of weeds. Why not prevent the problem instead of using a chemical to solve the problem?

For the minor weeds that do grow, why not pull them by hand? Consider using household vinegar rather than conventional chemicals. Believe it or not, this is a very effective treatment. (Vinegar can burn grass and garden plants, so be sure to spot treat weeds only.) If you must use chemicals, why not spot treat instead of treating the entire yard?

Here is a site that sells natural lawn care products.

You have heard of recycling but what about grasscycling?

Grasscycling is the natural recycling of grass by leaving clippings on the lawn when mowing. There are many benefits to grasscycling.

• It makes turf greener and tougher.
• It prevents common turf diseases.
• It reduces or eliminates fertilizer needs. Grasscycling provides about 2 pounds of nitrogen per 1,000 square feet of lawn per year.
• It cuts down on watering needs
• It eliminates the disposal of grass clippings and leaves.

Instead of using fertilizer, why not use compost?

Having a compost bin is an easy thing to do. It isn't just something that people in rural areas do, suburbanites and apartment dwellers can do it too! You can compost with a small compost bucket under your sink (complete with lid and filter, no odor), you can compost with a backyard bin or you can build your own composting system. The possibility's are endless. Here are some commercial composters and here is a link to a great composting guide.

Smart Watering can also cut down on the amount of chemical you use on your lawn.

Watering your lawn, on average, accounts for 40 to 60 percent of residential water consumption during the summer months. This makes lawn maintenance not only a chore but also a drain on the pocketbook and water supply. What is worse, is that much of the water applied to lawns is never absorbed by plants.
The greatest waste of water is from watering to often or too rapidly.

Water applied too rapidly is lost as runoff, which may carry polluting fertilizers and pesticides to streams and lakes. Water is also lost into the air when applied as a spray, especially on hot afternoons.

What do do?

Water infrequently yet thoroughly. In the absence of rain, most ground covers will benefit from a very thorough, once per month watering (during the growing season). Saturate to a depth of 8" to 10". This watering schedule will create a deep, well-rooted lawn that efficiently uses the water stored in the soil.
Your watering practices should be influenced by the weather. Decrease the amount and duration of your watering during cool or humid conditions and skip a scheduled watering after a moderate rainfall.

Water during the "right" time of day. If you water early in the morning it will prevent mildew diseases and it will cut down on evaporation. The type of soil you have will determine how often you should water and how much you should water.

Here is a link on how to determine the type of soil you have and how to water accordingly.

Set your sprinklers so that you are actually watering the plants and not the driveway. Use timers and/or moisture sensors to prevent over-watering. Soaker hoses deliver water directly to the base of the plant, reducing moisture loss from evaporation. A sprinkler head should spray large droplets of water instead of a fog or fine mist, which wastes water by evaporation and wind drift.

Going Out Green...

A few weeks ago I heard a knock on the back door. It is rare that we get visitors this far out in the sticks so I answered with wonder. There stood your typical looking Southern Baptist preacher type. Being the friendly host I am, I smiled and said "hello".

He said that he worked for the local funeral home, selling burial insurance. Before I knew what was coming out of my mouth (because honestly, I'm mostly full of shit) I said "Oh, we are going to compost my body, but thank you anyway". The worst part was that, completely involuntarily, as I was saying this I was motioning to the compost pile just a few feet away from him! I swear, I didn't mean to point at it as I was telling him this...my hand just kind of raised up, all on its own, and motioned that way. But the look on his face after I did was completely priceless! He uttered "Oh my!" and then just stood in dumbfounded silence for a few moments.

Well then, of course the next logical question out of his mouth was "Honey, do you go to church anywhere". Now you've got to get a mental image of this man in order to make this story worthwhile. What you have got to focus on are his eyebrows. The more I talked, the higher up on his face his eyebrows went. The wider his eyes got. It was priceless really.

So I answered, "No sir, we are a Pagan family...we haven't found a church for us in this area so we worship at home". So the eyebrows shit up a little more and he uttered another "Ohhhh my".

I should have, at this point, invited him into my home...just for pure meanness, to see if he dared to enter my lair (bwwwhahaha). But no, I just stood, with a fixed smile on my face, as he invited me to his church. I then bid him a good day and shut the door as he left.

That did get me to thinking though...are there "green" ways to handle ones body after death?

So evidently, you can actually compost your body! That is if you can get through all of the red tape first. What to do, what to do...I have so many causes that I could take up in order to cause a stir in this small town of mine. Do I do the gay cause? The Pagan cause? Women's rights? Or should I campaign for the right to compost my body?

There are also a few companies who make "green" coffins. Read about them here and here.

There is a company by the name of Promessa who offers to essentially freeze-dry the body, eventually turning it to powder (at 1/3 its original weight) for storage or burial in a small urn.

Then the good folks at the Green Burial Council want to make green burials the standard, doing away with embalming, vaults, conventional markers, and metal caskets.

Green Endings will even organize an eco-funeral in your own backyard. Which would be groovy.

There are also places, easily found by a Google search, where you can be made into a diamond, launched into space or sank to the bottom of the Ocean (although I don't think those are necessarily "green").

Heading down South...

Today I am going to write about some products for areas down south of the head and neck.

Let's get something out of the way first. I'm not sure when it started nor who started it, but a woman's "time of the month" has gotten a bad rap. I will give you that it can definitely be annoying. But the rest of the descriptions it gets "gross", "nasty", "the curse", etc. are largely undeserved, in my opinion.

A woman's cycle is a completely natural part of being a human. It is what lets our race continue on generation after generation. It is a normal bodily function just as eating, sleeping and using the bathroom. It is the body's way of naturally cleansing itself when a pregnancy does not occur that month. It may not be something that will ever be kosher to speak of at the dinner table with honored guest, but it is definitely not something that should carry the stigma it does.

And I will tell you this, for the unfortunate women out there who have, for some reason, gone through early menopause - they would probably give up an arm or a leg in order to have it back so that they could have children.

My cycle coming each month is what lets me know that my body is still able to conceive and carry a child. And after having gone through infertility, that is a wonderful thing to me.

I personally call it my "moon time". This is because in the days before electricity, women's bodies were influenced by the amount of moonlight we saw. Just as sunlight and moonlight affect plants and animals, our hormones were triggered by levels of moonlight. And, all women cycled together. Today, with artificial light everywhere, day and night, our cycles no longer correspond to the moon. Just as the moon controls the tide, it can also control our bodies.

Throughout all cultures and time, the magic of creation resided in the blood that women gave forth. This blood was regarded with reverence: it had mysterious magical powers. The blood was shed without pain, which was an experience that was not understood. Early menstrual rites were perhaps the first expression of human culture.

There are many things that I do not like about disposable pads and tampons. I don't like the waste. Think about how many menstrual cycles a woman will have in her lifetime. If she starts at age twelve and goes through menopause at age 51 (which are the national averages), she will have had roughly 468 menstrual cycles...less if she has children or breastfed. But just going on that average, if she uses 20 disposable pads per cycle, that is 9360 pads in the landfill. Think of how many women are in America alone...can you even imagine? You could fill a huge landfill with pads alone!

Traditional tampons and disposable pads currently on the market are made from cotton, rayon and blends of these fibers. The cotton used in these products has been grown using as many as 35 different pesticides, herbicides and fungicides. Then they are manufactured using a chlorine process to whiten or transform the wood fibers to make rayon.

Chlorine bleaching produces an unwanted by - product called dioxin - a toxic substance linked to breast cancer, endometriosis, low sperm counts, cancer, birth defects, miscarriages and immune system suppression.

These products are also run through acid baths and caustic sodas during manufacturing to enhance absorbency. Disposable pads and tampons are left un-rinsed of these toxic residues. Deodorizing chemicals are sometimes added. All this is a danger because the vagina is a main entry point into the body. What is absorbed through this skin goes into the blood circulation.

Tampons and disposable pads are often a source of vaginal irritation as well, due to the wood and chemicals that together form their extreme absorbent fiber. An additional problem is created by synthetic backing on disposable pads that prevent air from circulating, which can lead to bacterial growth and odors not normally associated with menstruation. From this site.


For women who choose to wear pads, there are several cloth pads on the market. Glad Rags is probably one of the most popular. They are used the same as disposable pads but instead of throwing them out, you wash them. For those who use cloth diapers, this should not really be much of a stretch. Most women simply keep a container with a lid beside the loo and at the end of their cycle the simply go dump the contents into the washing machine.



I personally prefer the re-usable cup. I use the DivaCup. There are many brands on the market but they all work the same way. A menstrual cup is a type of cup worn inside the vagina. Instead of absorbing the blood, like a tampon, it holds the blood. It is them removed, emptied, washed and reinserted. This site has a comparison of all of the cups currently on the market. I found it to be a big help when choosing which one to use. This is another site for cup users.

Since we are on the subject of "down South" we may as well discuss other things that can be inserted into the nether regions....condoms.

Most condoms are made of latex or Polyurethane (Plastic), neither of which I relish the thought of being in my yoni. Not only are they made of these synthetic materials, but they usually contain chemicals meant to lubricate or to kill sperm. Again, not something I want in such a personal place. The body does it own job of lubricating and the condom should hold the sperm, killing them in addition is...well...over kill!

The only alternative that I have found are sheepskin condoms. They are quite a bit more expensive than the old standby. And they are only good for protection against pregnancy, not against STDs. But for those in relationships where you know you are STD free and are only worried about pregnancy, they seem like a wonderful choice.People seem to prefer them because they "feel more natural." By the way, unlike what the name implies, they are actually made out of lamb intestines, not sheepskin.

The Languages of Love...

For those of you who know me, you will probably find it surprising that I am advocating a religious book. You will also probably find it surprising that I am advocating a relationship book written by the "experts". I'm honestly not much on parenting or relationship books. But this book is on to something. I read it years ago and was recently reminded of it while reading an online chat board. I thought I would talk about it here - not to promote the book, but to discuss the ideas mentioned in the book.

The basic premise is that most couples do love each other and that they do want to make the relationship work, but that they often do not know how to show this love in the way that makes their mate feel loved.

The book goes on to say that their are primarily five languages of love. In layman's terms, this means that what makes me feel loved may not be what makes you feel loved. And since it is human nature to speak our own "language", we could completely be missing the mark and not even know it.

According to the book, the five "languages" are:

(1) Words of Affirmation - Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.

(2) Quality Time - This is more than your mate watching TV while you read a book, it is about focusing all of your energy on your mate.

(3) Receiving Gifts - Some mates respond well to visual symbols of love. The single rose picked up on the way home from work all the way to the diamond earrings "just because". Tokens such as this make them feel loved by their partner.

(4) Acts of Service - Sometimes simple chores around the house can be an undeniable expression of love. Even simple things like laundry and taking out the trash require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy.

(5) Physical Touch - Many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

So here is what the book says, in a nutshell. If you are a person who feels love from physical touch you are probably going to try to show your love via physical touch. It is natural that we would try to show our partner we love them by treating them the way we would want to be treated. But if you are partnered with someone who feels love from acts of service and you are trying to love them from physical touch, instead, they aren't going to feel your love very much. Because you aren't giving them what they need in order to feel love.

So basically we have to find out what our partner needs in order to feel love - and even if it isn't something that we personally understand, we should speak to them in their language. If they need for you to do laundry in order for them to feel that you love them, then do laundry.

On the same token, you have to realize that if you are the "acts of service" person but you are not partnered with an acts of service person, you doing all of the laundry in the world isn't going to make them feel loved - because that isn't their love language.

To see what "language" you speak, there is a simple multiple choice test. Check the one that most applies to how you feel:

• I feel especially loved when people express how grateful they are for me, and for the simple, everyday things I do.
• I feel especially loved when a person gives me undivided attention and spends time alone with me.
• I feel especially loved when someone brings me gifts and other tangible expressions of love.
• I feel especially loved when someone pitches in to help me. Perhaps running errands or taking on my household chores.
• I feel especially loved expresses their feelings for me through physical contact.

Most people will be a combination of several of these but one or two will probably stand out above the others.

The book also mentions the "love tank" (got to love these cheesy terms, lol). Basically, every time your partner "speaks" to you in your "language of love", it puts something into your "love tank" (which is being compared to a gas tank). If, for the most part, you are walking around with a pretty full "love tank", chances are that you are going to be more willing to give your partner what he needs as well. If you are walking around with an empty "love tank" you are probably going to be feeling pretty resentful and burnt out...and not very willing to give much of yourself to your partner.

Anyway, it's a pretty simple concept, as in it may be taking a complex thing (a relationship) and putting it into too simple of terms. It definitely won't fix relationships with major problems. But for day to day life, I really do think that it is something that we could keep in mind. I think that the simple act of learning what our partner needs and then making the effort to do it could change a lot of relationships for the better.